My last several months and weeks have been filled with adventure, as is usual in my life. It has culminate in finals last week. This term for me has included (in chronological order) swine flu, trying to make pottery, food poisoning, dissecting a kidney, east coast trip, pneumonia, and finals (and these are just the highlights). Unfortunately my term hasn't included much blogging, but I hope to remedy that now that school is over.
The last week has been interesting. I finished school, and did well (which was actually a little surprising, it wasn't an easy term). I canceled a party at my house friday night because of freezing rain, I got a tragic pool playing injury (it's better now, but my finger really hurt for like a day), rescheduled my party for last night (fun and food with a few friends). I've had two clients vomit in front of me since saturday, and tonight I got news from nursing school.
I've been preparing myself for the worst for a few weeks, but it still feel really horrible. I know that last spring I got my hopes up too much about nursing school and subsequently crashed into the most difficult 6 months of my life. I did not want to repeat that. But once I found my inspiration again, remembered my desire to pursue nursing, it's only natural that I got excited. And I'm now equally disappointed that I did not get in.
I have an abundance of feelings right now. Why wasn't I good enough? Why should I keep trying? Was I just arrogant to think it was even possible to get into Johns Hopkins? I thought that getting into nursing school would fix how stuck I feel in my life. Stuck in Eugene, stuck at a job that I've outgrown, and stuck away from my family. But without the "quick fix" of my ready plan, my plan to escape all of this, I suppose I have to face myself and how I feel about my current state of life.
I guess I just have to face a bunch more uncertainty. I guess I won't be leaving Eugene in 2 months like I had despirately hoped. I guess I don't know where/if I will get into a nursing program. I guess it's probably OK to not know these things, although it feels pretty aweful right now.
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About Me
- katiewoo13
- The story of Her is a story of light, How it grew, how it faded, how She kept it alive. She felt and She saw, and was guided by light, She learned and She grew, and She followed Her sight. As a child She played games and shared what was Hers, She learned what was right, and to feel from Her heart. She sensed very strongly and followed Her light, But was sometimes too forward, oft Her manners did not mind. As a girl She was weighted with all the world's worries, She could not see through them and Her path was not clear. She yearned to help Allman, but found only darkness, and Her light quickly faded, with Her cares and the world's. As a woman She soon found Her own saving grace, In the light of Her soul which She nurtured and loved. And that light, as it grew, guided others to Her, As together they walked towards their own inner peace. Now She lives, and She loves, and She often is weary, For Her duties are great, and Her burden is heavy. But Her soul still shines forth, from the dark ocean depths, And She strives to help others find their light even so.
4 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about Johns Hopkins woo. But do keep trying, I'm confident you will get in somewhere and all that matters is that eventually you'll be able to pursue your passion of nursing. Love you!
That's bad news, and I know Brian felt like that too when he got the rejection letters.
A couple things to keep in mind: you probably have a lot of competition right now - lots of people out of work are trying to get into schools (an optomitrist we know who works at a school here said they received something ridiculous like 750 applications for 10 spots). Also, as Brian learned, don't just apply to your top choices. Give yourself a range so you have an option or two when the letters come back. Good luck!
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