Hugs

This evening I have been reflecting on the phenomenon of hugs, and I don't mean drops of chocolate love in a tin foil wrapping.  Indeed I have a small handful of raspberry chocolate kisses in my bag.  But despite the literary genius of J K Rowling, these little morsels are incapable of warming my heart (although I have often used this as an excuse for excessive consumption).  

The current state of my heart (i.e., tepid) is not a result of lack of hugging today, but rather the kind of hugs that I have given.  I say given because, indeed, they were anything but received.  It seems that there are three kinds of emotional hugs (these being a subset of the greater category "hugs"): hugs that give emotional support, hugs that receive emotional support, or hugs that both give and receive emotional support (this is sounding remarkably similar to a chemistry lecture I heard this morning on chemical reactions).

I have given several hugs this evening that were my way of showing how I care for someone else.  I love this kind of hug, and I love the fact that I can provide that service when needed.  But I am not in a position (right now) to receive a hug which says "Katie, you're loved too."  That is mostly because it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm at work.  I'm desperately counting down the hours until a coworker gets here to give me a much needed  hug.  

Tonight has brought a new revelation for me.  I had never thought that I could give so many warm embraces and yet so badly want to receive one.